Hello again blogger land!

So...I'm back to blogging. However, I'm keeping it a big secret!! So if you happen to find this blog of mine- congrats and enjoy reading; if you don't find it, then you'll never know any different and my blonde thoughts will go unread- ha!

Why am I back to blogging? It's helpful for me to write my thoughts out into cyberspace. It gives me the feeling of being heard. I think that's what we all want isn't it? To be heard? Not for what people want to hear us say but to be able to express our true feelings and thoughts- for better or worse. So fair warning to you, this may be serious, funny, or random text!

I have been in a tumult of change over the last year and I've been discovering a lot about myself. Some of it has not been so good and some of it has been really good. One thing I've realized with the not-so-good stuff is that these things are pointed out, not to make me feel bad, but are opportunities for Jesus to come in and change the not-so-good stuff. For example, I noticed that I've had a lack of grace for myself and others and I've been strongly desiring to be plugged into the grace of God. If you don't love yourself you can't love others! So I was searching everywhere on websites and in the Bible to understand grace and how you get inside you, or how you get the small amount of grace inside you to grow bigger. I was mentally wrestling for over a week! Then I received an email from a friend that expressed how cool the meaning of my name was. What was the meaning of my entire name?

Jessica Renee is my name. Jessica means the grace of God. Renee means to be baptized into. My name literally means I am baptized into the grace of God. I don't have to search outside of myself for figure out how to grow grace, self acceptance, self forgiveness, love for others inside of me. So I don't have to look anywhere outside, I just need to look inside, rest, and ask Jesus to increase the grace inside me.

Sounds silly doesn't it? Don't do anything? Well, if you believe that Jesus responds to our needs and my need is in agreement with his heart, then of course he's going to answer! His heart is that I experience grace, forgiveness, love, and that it overflows into the rest of my life.

So there's an example of turning something less lovely into something more lovely...