The Right Glasses

So the Lord showed me on Sunday that I have been seeing a certain situation through the wrong lenses of the glasses I'd been wearing. For the past year, I have been carrying a lot of pain inside me concerning a relationship that was really important to me. I interepreted the situation as rejection, when in fact it was love. However, I did not see it as that until Sunday.

The Lord has challenged me over the past year to step out of living in a place of living by formulas, to stop living out of a place of pleasing man, and to start being assertive. I'll explain each.

While doing research for a paper for school, I came across an article that mentioned the pattern of thinking that consumes the American way of life. We process everything as "A+B=C". This formula rules our lives, our thinking patterns, and I'm pretty sure we don't even realize it. As Christians we often live our lives like this. The Bible says don't do "A", so if I must focus solely on not breaking that rule- "B", then "C" must equal the blessing of God or the love of God. It must! That's the formula.

Did you know this just doesn't work? I know for sure it doesn't work. It is a good think to have boundaries, standards, the Ten Commandments, the law- whatever you want to call the thing that makes you draw a line that says "this is wrong and this is right." However, if that rule is what you are focused on to keep you "safe" from breaking part A of the formula, then you will most certainly fail.

For example, there were rules (and still are) in place when my fiance and I started dating. I was so focused on the rules, because I wanted the blessing of God on our relationship. I knew we were going to be married and I wanted God to bless us. However, we kept breaking all the rules! So I was sent into this place of panic every time this happened, I was sure God hated me! We were totally doomed.

One day, my fiance and I sat before the Lord, expressed our desire to be holy and to honor him. I expressed my frustration and anger to the Lord that the rules weren't working. All the things that the church had taught me, I was trying with all my heart to keep, and it wasn't working. "Just giving it to Jesus was a total croc!" I asked Jesus what to do and he showed me Romans 4:3 in the Message.

"Abraham entered into what God was doing for him, and that was the turning point. He trusted God to set him right instead of trying to be right on his own."

I was totally shocked. What was God doing for me? He was giving his Son for me. He was providing a way of being holy and having his hand of blessing. So I told Jesus, "Jesus, this is our turning point. We are trusting you to set us right and I am not trying anymore out of my own will power to keep all the rules, because it isn't working. I am going to stop focusing on the rules and start focusing on you."

And guess what started happening? Jesus started revealing himself. For example, my fiance looked at me and said, "We need to start leaving each other between 9 & 10pm. Our schedules are crazy, we're exhausted all the time, and it causes issues for us." That standard that we put in place has really helped us and brought a lot of blessing.

The Lord is showing me more and more that he is the new and living way. That means the road of my life is not A+B=C. There is forgiveness, for the death of Jesus is not something for the past it is something for the present- it is for right now. So whatever formula you are trying to live by, that isn't working- stop focusing on your inability to meet the standard fabricated in your mind and look at Jesus. What is Jesus doing for you?

One thing I know for sure, he doesn't hate you and he is not disappointed with you for not getting it right. How do I know this? Because since I've started looking at him and since we've been engaged the following has happened:

-We've been overwhelmed with love from friends, family, co-workers, and sometimes even strangers
-We were given $20,000 in bonuses, when we had no money to pay for our wedding
-We've had financial gifts given to us over $100 at random times (like when I needed money for my hair practice run)
-The guy doing our invitations refused to let us pay for anything
-We've had lots of favor with vendors giving us cheaper prices and waving fees
-And lots more!

It's been amazing. Well, I didn't explain everything that I had originally intended to write but I'm out of time for today. Enjoy your Memorial Day!

Ciao!